I sometimes think to the month before we started IVF when one sister found out the sex of her baby and another sister of mine went into labor. The thoughts usually come after I hear someone has a failed assisted cycle. I think about how many cycle day ones I had and automatically think of some of the saddest and hardest days. With those thoughts in my head, my breath is taken from me and my eyes fill with tears. Those were some awful days and I hate to see others have them too.

I’ve been very emotionally charged recently. I don’t remember being like this with my son. That makes me think that maybe it’s a girl. That’s the only thing that makes me think that though. Otherwise I think it’s a boy. I’ve been having the same exact pregnancy as the last. I’ve gained 5 pounds so far which isn’t much for being 20 weeks. I’m ok with it since we know the baby looks good so far. We had our anatomy scan on Monday and the baby is estimated to be 11 ounces which is right on target. I’ll have to go back for another ultrasound in 3 weeks for 2 reasons. One is that the baby covered its face so they couldn’t see its lip or mouth to look for cleft lip or palate, something that is of a higher risk with IVF. Second, they recommended a fetal echo since cardiac anomalies are greater with IVF along with the fact that my sisters newborn has a VSD. (ventricular septal defect or a hole between to 2 bottom chambers of the heart). I am a retired Pediatric Cardiac ICU nurse and know all too well what can happen if a defect goes undiagnosed. Therefore, I’ll be getting the echo.
We did not find out the sex of the baby, obviously, and am ok with not knowing. I won’t buy anything big (like furniture) for the baby until the house if built anyway and between myself and my 5 siblings we have plenty of boys and girls clothing of all sizes. This will be the 8th baby in the past 5 years so I should be all set!
Lots of love and good baby making/growing thoughts to all of you.

For so long I had so much fear and anger toward the ivf process. I couldn’t believe it was the only way I could make a baby and I had so much hatred inside of me. I look back on the month of September and can’t help but think 2 things. It wasn’t all that bad and I’m better off for having gone through what I did.
I am grateful for so many things right now it brings me to tears. My life turned so many corners in the last 3 months that I’ll need a road map to navigate 2012.
There have been 3 things In our lives that couldn’t seem to go as planned no matter how hard we worked or planned for them. The first being our infertility struggle. We have been so fortunate to be able to afford ivf and even more fortunate to have had success with the procedure. I’m 16w 4 days and have been feeling well. I’m more irritable this time and started having Braxton hicks 2 weeks ago but otherwise doing great. I look about 20 weeks (based on last time) and am so glad my sister finally had her baby so I can get all the
maternity clothes that my 4 sisters and I share.
The second thing we have been struggling with is finding a house that will fit our needs. We had settlement 2 weeks ago on property where we will begin building our new home. I hope to demolish the existing house and start construction as soon as the winter breaks. I’m nervous about all the decisions that will have to be made but am looking forward to having more space and having things exactly the way I want
them.
Third is something that my husband has worked his entire career for. He has literally worked his ass off since graduating from college and grad school. He has provided for us and given me the opportunity to stay home and raise our children. The past 2 years he was in the running for making partner at his firm and we found out last week that he is now a partner. I couldn’t be more proud of him. He is finally satisfied with his career and is at ease with all of the decisions he has made.
2011 started on an upswing with a positive pregnancy test and a house that we came so close to buying. After a bad inspection we withdrew our offer and a month later (2/14) there was no heartbeat. The end of this year is back on an upswing and I feel like things couldn’t get any better. We are so happy and content and I am very grateful for that. Good times can’t last forever so for now I will enjoy and savor my good fortune.
I wish everyone a happy new year and I hope that everyone has happiness and good fortune in their future.